Whether you are going through a rough patch in your marriage or it is your relationship with your partner that is going dead, arguments and confrontations are an inseparable part of this phase, which though not desirable and most destructive but finds ways and means to seep in. While getting into a fight becomes unavoidable at times, it is a common thing to happen to a couple. And if it keeps happening persistently then it can put the relationship in danger.
Therefore, it is important to know how to get out of the situation safely and prevent it to deteriorate further. Here are ten easy ways to fight fairly and save your relationship.
Its just an argument not a war!
Remember, it is just an argument which originated with the seeking of explanation or clarification, but does not mean that you have to draw your sword and convert it into a war with the sole aim of pinning down your partner. In most of the arguments, each partner argues to prove his/her point and perspective right, as if it is a war zone and they have to win it at any cost. A competitive relationship never survives for long.
If speaking irrationally with an aim to pin down is wrong, so is keeping quiet. You should never be silent when you are confronted as this gives a signal that either you are disinterested or taking your partner for granted. Keeping quiet in such a situation can be the worst destroyer.
Save your relationship by sticking to the present.
It often happens while arguing that we start digging into the past to win an argument. Raking up old issues can make your partner feel cornered and will drift him away from you. You might be in an argument and attacking on each other right now, but at the end of the day your spouse wants you to be standing next to him as a pillar and not someone who pulls him/her down. So doing this can have serious effects on your relationship.
In a relationship we share good and bad moments. We share our dark secrets and even confess our mistakes. We do it in good faith and with trust towards our spouse. It would be highly unethical to attack our mate and use that sensitive information against him. It would be a complete breach of trust which will take time to build again.
Be honest, even in an argument.
Although it sounds a bit impossible but try to be honest, even in an argument. The argument arises due to a particular problem and you must try and stick to this root cause and talk about why it is creating trouble for you. Sharing your true and actual feelings will not only help your spouse to understand you better, but also make attempts to resolve the issue, which would take the conversation towards a discussion rather than an argument.
It happens many a times that in a fit of rage or anger our ability to understand an issue goes for a toss. We overreact and go tangent to the actual problem. So it is recommended that whenever in an argument, we must ask for a clarification from our partner before reacting. Repeating after your partner to check the correctness of the statement made by him will help you grab the actual reason.
Never call name or insult if you want to save your relationship.
During an argument, it is quite likely that you are filled with hatred and anger for your spouse, but one thing which you have to adhere if you want to save your relationship is to never call names to your partner in an argument. You cannot disgrace him/her and make derogatory statements which would hit below the belt. If you hurt the feelings and sentiments of your partner, then he/she will drift away from you, and it will be difficult to get him/her back in life.
In an argument if you feel that it’s you who is at fault, then it may sound difficult, but you should crush your ego and apologize. Saying sorry will not only resolve the argument, but also raise you in the eyes of your partner. It will have a cooling effect after the heated argument and help save your relationship. Staying humble always pays and you can win him/her all over again with your sincerity.
Be a good listener.
Although an argument is about both the partners getting down heavy on each other, it is quintessential to be a patient listener when one is expressing his/her heart out. Do not cut the dialogue of your partner, doing that will be a form of disrespect and should be avoided. When you listen, it opens your heart and also cools down the anger and helps in better understanding.
Having an occasional argument is good rather healthy for a relationship provided you just speak about unspoken issues and unexpressed feelings. Clearing up issues on a regular basis and in a respectable manner is a healthy regime for a relationship. It also helps in resolving an issue in nascent stage before it becomes a full blown problem and poses threat to the relationship going sour.
So saving your relationship from an unhealthy argument is in your hands. A bad argument leaves scars that can be irreparable at times so consider the above points next time if you are hitting an argument; being honest in an argument helps in avoiding the argument going haywire. Respect for each other should also not go down. Never give or take disrespect. And if the argument is not getting resolved and coming back again and again then seeking a professional help is a good option.
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