Breaking up is hard to do. The hardest thing about it is that you have to start living your life without the person. The length of the relationship determines how difficult it will be for you to recreate your life without them. You’re starting from scratch and restructuring what was left over.
It might feel like the end of the world after a break-up, but it’s not. It’s a change. A beginning. You just need to get your bearings and make a new life for yourself.
Here are 10 ways to bounce back from a break-up. Take small steps and you will eventually find yourself again.
Get closure first
Ending a long relationship can be pretty hard since your lives are too entwined. You have the same friends, go to the same places and if you’re married, you live in the same place. Before you can move on, you need to get closure. Don’t leave open issues to be resolved later. Do it now.
People mull over relationships that ended already because they have hope that they can get back together with their partners. If this is the case with you, don’t read any further. You will never move on if you still hope for reconciliation.
If your partner supported you and now you don’t have money, get a job right away! You need to be financially independent as soon as possible. This is one of the reasons why people, women especially, stay in relationships. They don’t know how they will live without their partner’s financial support. Well, having your own job is one solution. You’re a big girl, earn some money. You will need to start anew and build a better life. Use your failed relationship as motivation.
Get your own place
Even a small room that you can design the way you want it, can be a great healer. Breakups tend to make you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Having your own place where you do belong can help you heal.
If you live in a house where you stayed as a couple, change the way the house is designed. Maybe you decorated it for your partner before. Well, you can fix it any way you want now.
After a break-up you want to just mope and cry and maybe drink alone every night. It’s ok to grieve. But you know what, after a couple of weeks, you’ll start feeling bored about it. When you’re done grieving, meet people and go out of your cubbyhole! No one is saying you need to get into a relationship right away. But try not to be alone too much. See what’s out there.
If you have some money stashed away, it’s a fun idea to just get away from it all. Go on a vacation, to a place you’ve never visited. The experience will give you a new perspective on life and keep you from focusing on your failed relationship. It will also show you that there’s a lot more happening in the world – a lot of opportunities that you can explore!
Change your routine
The hardest thing about breakups is the routine. You’ve gotten used to doing things with your partner. This is probably the hardest aspect – changing how you do things. After a breakup, change your routine! Do something different. Go to different places.
This is your chance to reinvent yourself. Get a new haircut, buy some new clothes. Looking good will do wonders for your broken self-esteem. But don’t make too drastic a change that people will say you’ve lost your mind over the breakup! Small improvements will make you feel ready to take on your new life and add to your confidence.
Cry as much as you want
If you feel sad about the break-up and there are moments when you just want to cry, go ahead and cry. Cry your heart out until you have no tears left. Trying to be strong doesn’t mean that you can’t allow yourself moments of weakness. Crying heals and it opens up your understanding and acceptance. Losing someone is hard and you need to go through the grieving process. Afterwards, dust yourself off and try again.
Convince yourself everyday that it’s all for the best
As mentioned in #1, people who believe that there’s still hope for reconciliation or that their broken relationship is the best thing for them, will never move on. Think about why you broke up and why you can’t get back together and tell yourself everyday that this is the best for you.
Avoid being with your ex
Until such time that you’ve fully recovered, avoid your ex at all costs. Don’t stalk his or her FB trying to find out what they’re doing. Remember? We’re trying to move on! Find something else to do that doesn’t involve your ex.
The aftermath of a breakup can be a very emotional time and it is only normal that you want to cling to the past, even though you know it’s not good for you anymore. We hate change. We prefer the devil we know to the devil we don’t know. But you see, love doesn’t have to be difficult and complicated. It shouldn’t be rife with arguments and heartbreak. Instead of thinking about what you can still do to get back with your partner after a breakup – think about a better life that’s waiting for you, with a better partner.
Isn’t that a nicer thought? Wouldn’t you want to live a peaceful and happy life? Go on, get up and start living.
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