With the number of extra-marital affairs and cheating boyfriends on the rise, every female needs to be cautious and alert with their partners. Though loving relationships still do exist, none of them has a warranty card attached to it and one needs to be attentive to judge if its expiry date is approaching and make adequate, timely efforts to renew it. Ignoring the same can cause irreparable damage and leave you shattered and broken. No matter how long you have known each other for or how madly in love he seems to be, always be prepared to identify ‘something fishy’ that might be going on in his head and take necessary precautions or remedial actions to control the situation.
Suspecting the worst (Is he UNFAITHFUL?)
To help you diagnose the problem at an early stage, here are a few signs that might suggest he’s cheating on you.
- Acting differently: The first and foremost sign of danger is his changed behavior. Any sudden change from his usual, predictable routine or behavior for example, change in the choice of music, way of talking etc is a warning.
- Sugar-coated talks: Extra-caring attitude and over sweet tone adds to the suspicion because it shows that he is guilty of cheating and is trying to cover up the same.
- Buying unusual, expensive gifts: Showering gifts without any occasion or reason shows he’s guilty conscious about being unfaithful to you.
- Possessive about his phone: If suddenly, he is taking his phone along wherever he goes like to the washroom or the kitchen, if he starts panicking the moment you touch his mobile or if he’s spending long hours talking on it without introducing you to the speaker at the end, you have enough reasons to consolidate your suspicions.
- Mood swings: After the initial guilt-conscious period is over, he might start acting as a ‘loner’, feeling depressed and irritable when around you while being just the opposite with other friends. Initiating or continuing a conversation with you seems like a big task at hand and he tends to avoid all possible interactions.
- Vanishing Romance: All those love talks, romantic dates, encouraging complements and most important of all, making love is a thing of the past and any effort on your part to revive it is turned down brutally.
- Offended when questioned: Your regular, natural questions concerning his whereabouts or daily routine are taken as unwelcomed inquiries and offends him. In turn, he accuses you of spying on him.
- Experienced Liar: One of the most obvious signs of his infidelity is his tendency to make excuses and telling lies when confronted. Not looking into your eyes while answering, making lame excuses for not turning up, lying too often about his actions makes it all the more evident that he’s gone off the track.
- Refusal to commit: Your mate’s unwillingness to commit, solidify your relationship and to move a step further might be another reason for suspicion.
Though all the above points suggest he is being disloyal to you they are not confirmatory evidences. I know it sounds strange but it is possible that you have been misinterpreting your partner’s behavior to cheating. He might just be upset over some professional issues, over-burdened or simply tired and unable to give you the desired attention. May be he is going through an emotional downfall but doesn’t want to bother you with it. It is also, possible that you are over-scrutinizing or judging him owing to your own insecurity or possessiveness.
Also, what you might consider cheating could be just a friendly gesture on his part. Being a social and outgoing person, he might have a big circle of friends that are girls or his natural charm and friendly humor attracts others to befriend him. After all, that’s what made you fall for him too. Before imagining things and jumping to conclusions, have a heart to heart talk with him and figure out the reason for his aloofness. Accusing him of cheating without confirming could be taken as an insult and hurt his feelings which will hamper your relationship and shake the existing trust.Imagining things (Maybe he’s not CHEATING)
Dealing with the worst (He is actually GUILTY)
Once you are sure of his perfidy and have gathered up enough evidence to hammer his unfaithfulness, manage and control your feelings. Though anger is most obvious
to crop up first, try to calm yourself down and get your thoughts right. Delicate issues like this need to be handled with extra care and caution. Confront your partner with the evidences but in a respectful tone. Your mate, when proven guilty, might not entertain or answer you if you yell, shout or speak in an angry tone.Maintain your self-esteem and talk to him about your feelings and give him the chance to tell his part of the story. If he apologizes and asks for forgiveness, consider it but give in only after you are sure his intentions are genuine. Your gut feeling or feminine instinct will help you take that call. Until then, maintain distance from him to gather your thoughts before taking any drastic decision. This will also, provide him with the much needed space to realize your importance in his life.
Seek professional help, a counselor or a therapist if he is throwing tantrums or not co-operating. A study reveals that a majority of infidelity cases get sorted out with professional help and the relationship ends up stronger than before. Try to work out your relationship by discussing what went wrong and ways to rectify it. After all, you were a loving couple because of the compatibility, the fire and chemistry you two shared. Let bygones be bygones, just rekindle the fire and revive the bond to enjoy many more years of togetherness. In worst scenario, if all the efforts turn futile, the wisest decision would be to break up and move on. Facing the reality can be difficult but it will help you grow stronger emotionally as well as socially.
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