Being in love is considered to be one of the most beautiful and sacred of all emotions that we as human beings are blessed to feel. Love changes everything, it makes life altogether different and in fact worth living. Love is the foundation of a relationship and so the foundation must be strong and long-lasting to make relationship a success. Now what actually is a relationship? It means different things to different people, for some it is a term used for a related person while for others it may mean their lives. Falling in love and getting into a relationship, be it courtship or marriage is a great way of exploring your partner. But what is more important is constantly helping each other to maintain a healthy relationship.
A healthy relationship first and foremost requires lots of love and I am sure that most of the relationships have it in plenty. The other ingredients for a healthy relationship are trust, understanding, respect and probably the most vital one is space. I know a lot of people get confused regarding the issue of space, I don’t blame them as it is a very sensitive, yet normally overlooked aspect in a relationship. Let me begin this topic of space by asking you all, whether you are in a relationship because you want to be together with your partner always? I am sure your answer would be a yes, as the true essence of a relationship is togetherness, but then question arises how much togetherness is okay?
The moments that you spend with your loved ones are always special and you wait to be with them always but what if your loved ones are invaded because of your desperation to be together. Sounds weird right, but as we go on with our relationships we don’t realize that we are being over-possessive and over-dramatic about various situations. You must have seen one of your friends whose girlfriend keeps a track of his activities the whole day by constantly calling or messaging him or whose boyfriend instructs her not to wear something or not to talk to a specific friend. All these instances clearly depict unhealthy relationships that’ll die slowly and leave a void in one’s life, and why just your friends, it could be your story too! But such kind of behavior simply depicts that there is no or should I say that there is not enough room in your relationship which is an important pillar of a healthy and long lasting relationship.
Let me tell you the importance of room or space in a relationship. There is always an emotional space in one relationship. Emotional space is the amount of time, energy and involvement your partner has in listening to your opinions, needs, worries and joys. It is in fact the time that your partner spends with you and for you exclusively. We may usually come across a relationship in which one partner has occupied most of the emotional space in the relationship where he/she speaks and wants the other person to just listen and give a nod. The first person in this relationship is highly possessive, insecure and basically an extremist that wants everything according to his/her own will. The other person is just a mere puppet who is not involved or is not given due importance that one merits. Such types of relationships are not at all healthy and one must need to understand that the basic essence of relationship is getting two people together. So one person, no matter how hard he/she is trying to pull the strings of a relationship together cannot succeed to do so without the involvement of other partner. Thus the best way to save your relationship is to leave some vacuum in your relationship, so that your partner comes up with something to fill in. This might not be a simple task, but it is desirable to make your partner feel involved and respected.
Several times we have heard couples saying that “our relationship needs space” or a person urging his/her partner “give me some space!”, all these statements indicate that there is very little room in such relationships that eventually lead to breaking up or even divorces. To maintain space in a relationship definitely doesn’t mean that you start ignoring your partner, in fact it means that though you enjoy each other’s company very much, still you respect your partner as an individual and want to give them room to continue with his/her own life. See its very simple, it is possible that both you and your partner enjoy watching movies together, however he has an interest in sports and you don’t, so you must encourage him to carry on his interest with his friends that he used to do before getting into this relationship.
There is no point of yelling at him for not being with you always because you must understand that before being your husband/boyfriend, he is an individual having dreams and ambitions of his own. And you must always support him in achieving those dreams and the same principles apply to men. Your girlfriend/wife must have had a few male friends that she like spending time with, so there is no need of unnecessary arguments justifying why she can’t spend time with them anymore. Always remember, she had a life of her own before meeting you and falling in love with you and she’ll continue to have the same life even today because that’s the individual you had fallen for. I am sure you don’t want to change them for such meager issues.
There is no relationship in our society that can exist without enough space or room because if we as humans need air to survive, similarly our relationships need some air too. Suffocation and over-involvement is always harmful and in fact fatal for a relationship. One should never confuse caring with stalking because there is a lot difference between too and only the first one is required for a healthy and long lasting relationship. So let your relationship breathe and give your partner the due respect, love, care and space that they actually deserve. In this way you’ll not only be able to keep your relationship alive and exciting but you’ll get ample time to concentrate on your individual qualities and dreams.
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